Q You recently wrote that a man shouldn’t “dress in an athletic-looking fleece hoodie in a restaurant”. Can you explain to men how embarrassing it is to wear shorts in a good restaurant? I know jackets (not to mention ties) are rarely needed in most good restaurants, but that doesn’t mean they should wear shorts and a t-shirt.
A As you can probably guess, I totally agree with you. Clothing can be distinguished in several different ways. Not only are they divided into attractive and unappealing categories, but more importantly, they are often divided into appropriate and inappropriate categories. The question of whether or not a garment is appropriate is closely related to where it is worn. I’ve always insisted that men – in fact, men and women – should ask themselves if they are dressed appropriately, especially if it is not just about themselves.
“Everyday” and favorite clothes are not suitable for all occasions. For example, hoodies and shorts are clothes that every man might want to have in his closet. Some are strictly meant for super casual aisle shooting baskets, and some are attractive and versatile enough to be worn on more occasions. But, even the most attractive of them are not suitable choices to be worn in a good restaurant.
When trying to determine the suitability of a garment, a key element is respect. Respect for the place itself and the other people present. If you are dressed totally casually when going to a drive-thru fast food service, no one will notice or care. However, if you dress this way in a good restaurant, you disrespect the place itself and also the other people who dine there … maybe even enough to diminish their enjoyment of it somewhat. a festive evening. Why would you want to do this? I hear the men respond, “to be comfortable,” but I wonder if their prettier clothes are also uncomfortable and if they and their companions are really comfortable.
Specifically, I know that wearing shorts is a thorny issue for men. Many like the comfort, and I was even introduced to: “What is the difference between a nice polo shirt and shorts compared to a sun dress?” On the one hand, I see their point of view, on the other hand … No, I don’t know. We are all aware that young men (boys) who dress for their balls take care to look their best. It makes me wonder: where does that instinct go when they “grow up” and forget how, and why, to look good?
I noticed another subtle expression of that same rude attitude. Recently I attended a special religious event on Zoom and once again became aware of a jarring pattern. The women were all nicely “dressed” in pretty outfits and high-heeled shoes, while many of their escorts wore casual, sweatshirt-like tops – no jackets and, worse yet, sneakers. In my opinion, this sends a few messages: among them, a lack of respect for the occasion, for the place, for the other guests present and, in particular, for the person they are accompanying. While there is often a certain disconnect between the way the two halves of a couple are dressed, I can’t imagine her partner would be happy with what appears to be a disregard for their social time spent together.
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